Tuesday 10 February 2015

Longing



I sit here in my tall tower watching through the eyelash window-slit at the Ravens wheeling about in the blustery pewter of the skies.
No silver lining. No ray of hope can I detect.
Where did you go that day when they collected you for the train? My Soul sister who I have loved in exhausting and excessive ways. No one could have shared what we have shared. I know you more than myself and love you far better. Do you dream in French still when you are dreaming of times past?
You have left me with my secluded longing, all alone in Rapunzel's tower awaiting a rescue that will not come no matter how many eye lashes I wish upon. Maybe it doesn't count if you pull them out but it was all I could think to do and now I am left with a naked red rimmed eye, salt raw from tears, and no hope.

Would you send the train back for me? It could bring me to you. We could be together again.We always had each other.
But now you have someone else and I am left with nothing. Worse than nothing. I have the memory of together and sharing and it is like an acid angel, wings beating at my heart. I cannot love a memory.

If I could put on my waterproof coat and escape through the window magic I dreamed of and ride the blustery raven, would he fly me away from here? To you?
But I don't remember the magic. My despair is total.
Waterproof? Would the raincoat be waterproof in a magical realm?

I saw the gold box on your bed with your suitcase. So small. I could have taken it then but I didn't want to. I thought it was for me. I wanted you to give it to me.
Who was your gift for?
And now you're gone and I don't know whether I shall see you again in this world or the next. And the gift is gone to. It was not for me. And I thought you loved me. But it is gone. You are gone.
Who do you love?
Did another love you?

Is that why you have left me in this place with the blustery Ravens for company and a heavy sky and myself? It is not enough.

The copyright of this post belongs to Holly Khan

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